I was contemplating suicide
in the living room
while you sat so close in the other room

you played your favorite album on the record player

it's my mistake
I'm okay
but sometimes the thought
crawls into my head

thinking about
would it all be better if I was dead

I feel the same
no matter how much I pretend
I feel the same
no matter how much I try
I feel the same
tell me why

it hurts
to think about all the things I hate

I think of all the hurtful memories
the ones that left me scars

I think what ifs
what if I wasn't here right now

no one is going to hold me tight
no one will tell me it's okay