When things are looking bleak and your
Polling numbers are way too low,
Apply underhanded tactics
To vanquish your political foe.

Slowly dismantle the postal system.
Make the problem acutely systemic
By making it harder for people to vote,
Especially during a deadly pandemic.

Attack the system of voting by mail
By making it seem as though it's flawed.
Make your fans believe that it opens
The door to rampant voter fraud.

If TV stations run political
Ads that you don't like, subdue them.
Go after the smaller stations
In certain states. Simply sue them.

Force intelligence agencies
To bend the truth whenever you can.
Get the DOJ to help you
Muddy the waters: a perfect plan.

Continue to seek foreign help
To harm your opponent. Feel no chagrin.
And then stifle investigations--
Anything to help you win.

Say that the system is rigged against you
So that your fans will feel disgusted,
And then if you lose the November election,
Election results will NOT be trusted.

To hide your gross incompetence,
Sow the seeds of doubt and blame.
Get support from sycophants
In Congress--from those who have no shame.

Flout the rules and do whatever
You can to make your critics squirm.
Following all these beautiful tactics
Will help you secure a second term.

-by Bob B (8-12-20)