Sometimes it’s hard to put into words
Or fully figure out exactly what to write about:
Today I want to write about something I’ve never felt
Something I most likely will never feel
Something I probably will never become...
I have never been pregnant
I most likely will never become pregnant
I probably will never become a mother
I have never felt you kick in my belly
I will never feel the anxiousness of being pregnant
I will never be able to hold you, love you or care for you
But I feel like I have already...
Is that weird to think or believe?
Am I strange for even writing or thinking about it?
What if at some point I was pregnant but never knew it?
Even though I never will know that feeling
Or experience that feeling of you growing inside of me and loving you the first time our eyes meet
I am writing this to you....
My never for seen child...
I would love you
Care for you
Explore with you
Even if you never have existed
I carry you with me always
I hope you are with me too
I would have been a great mother, and you would have had an amazing father...
Maybe one day in heaven
We’ll get our wish of being parents
But for now, I love with this depression of never knowing you...
                                    Love always,
                      A mother who will never be...