The constant state of pain whether it's internal or never feeling like I am good enough for anyone. Always in a state of flux never-ending always hiding within my self pushing back all these feelings putting on a mask of humor and weirdness to the forefront for all to see. I just feel lost in a dark room and there is no light that I can see. Just want to find that love from her to make me feel like we are one. Till then I wander in this dark room for now.