When I was little
often I watched my mom in the kitchen
working till late night
kitchen was her cocoon
kitchen was her heaven
I had to pretend to be sick
to take her out from there
Once I caught her sobbing
at the kitchen sink
as a child I asked her so innocently
"Did daddy make you cry"
No darling she said
She smiled and continued with dishes..
and left me with the question WHY?
Years later..
and today I am a mother myself
The tragedy in mom's kitchen still haunting my life
watching my mom crying in her kitchen
was not a good picture,
not a good memory as a child
not at all.....
The kitchen was her castle
In the warmth of her kitchen
she made miracles…she created magic upon magic
splendid recipes... superb dishes
feeding her loved ones... with love
but Today I realized  how my mother
released herself and that could have made her survive
By working so hard in the kitchen
By often hiding her despairs and sorrows
Her kitchen was her secret hiding place
every time she was hurt...
when the world treated her so unfairly
In the comfort of her Kitchen
She consoled herself....
How did I realize this after so many many years?
today for the very first time
I cried myself at the kitchen sink
In my very own cozy kitchen
over a pile of dinner plates ,
almost breaking a glass
so afraid to lose control...
but my kitchen is heaven that saves me...
as my tears are falling over the bubbles in the sink
How I came to understand my mother's feelings...
by standing there in the kitchen...
remisniscing... and..
breathing this life
feeling this life
experiencing with life
living with life....
as long as mothers are alive
they live their life
to share the laughter and joy
of their husband and children
to endure the pain and sorrows
but hide them once in a while....
in mom's heavenly kitchen