i thought when i got older i would stop being so sad
truthfully i just got better at hiding it
i got better at acting
i guess thats growth
i guess i did stop being so sad
is it real if no one knows?
i try to talk but most days i cant
the days i do the words flow like a waterfall and i talk too much
i thought being sober would help
but i miss my rose colored view
the real world is scary
getting old is too
all this talk about reality lately has me wondering what im gonna do when im all grown up
im almost 22 now and i got my innocence stolen when i was only a kid
did that stunt my growth? am i stuck like this?
i find peace in knowing that bad days dont last
but when they’re so many of them it kind cancels that out
im really optimistic most days but im still a pessimist at the wrong times
they say if you dont like something you should change it
but since i can remember i hated change
we moved alot as a kid and i still get anxious from the smell of new paint
i went to therapy for the first time today in almost a year and i guess it made me think
maybe my rose colored view is still here
theres so many things wrong and i dont see them
but other people do
i guess im just comfortable
and the bad things started to feel like home
i dont want to move yet
i get anxious from the smell of new pain