my heart hurts so much right now and i just can't really

it hurts me so bad
it hurts me so bad
i don't know why
but it hurts me so bad

i guess
i feel like
i just want to keep her at arms length
and talk to her about happy things
and only happy things

when u see someone
it changes things
and how u think

i feel like
i just took a step back
and a step forward
but i can't decide
which one it is

to go away
push further
or to stay
and try harder

i'm so mixed up in my heart right now
i want her back so bad
but i don't know if she's still there
my heart hurts so bad right now
i want her back
but i think she's gone

i want her back but i think she left
i saw her looking cute in that pretty dress
i forgot how much her smile meant to me
i forgot how much i miss her laugh
i can't write anything else but pain
my heart is stained
and it feels like forever

i sat and babysat my nephew today
i made him laugh, and i thought about her
with me in the room
she was there with me tonight
i made her laugh too

as i sit in this seat
i keep slumping over
i keep slumping over

i want her to come back
and be with me
but i think it's over
although that feels like never