I scrapped my soft skin on the gravel
and they asked me why I bled so much
It's the one thing I do best
I'd rather scab over
and try to heal
but I can't stop the sensation of opening old wounds
Every time I pour myself a drink
I can't help but think of my father
my grandmother
and everyone else I cannot will myself to call
so I bled out to voice mail messages
and try not to hurt anyone else
but I just can't help myself
I am addicted to pain and holding grudges
I forgive those who don't deserve it
just so I can go back again
and scar myself even more
Every time I know I have to hurt someone
I remeber every sad face I've ever seen
My stomach is nausea
I am trying so hard to act like I'm not even phased
but my facade is cracking under all of this weight
I cannot stop this chain smoking habit
because then I'll begin to gnaw at my finger tips
and lord knows I can't bare to lose any more blood