In regards to my recent behavior.

I apologize deeply for falling out of your pristine lines.
See, when I confessed to you
That evening, I believed you'd understand
TRAUMA


Your mind goes to
GLASS,
Clinking in ice cups like when I tell you I cry to sleep-
You'd rather not think about the pain
Coursing through my veins
As those shards carve me away.

That's why you hide
At the slightest mention of
DAMAGE.

Your expectations, I pray, have not increased the slightest!
I no longer apply to those lines, society.
Lines that are
Perfect photocopy girls.
Pleated skirts and a man to keep us in line.
It's what you deem "Easiest" and "Normal", right?
One hair out of place and I might infect your society-acceptable bubble!
Why add pain?
Image matters, after all.
Oh, the woe of my existence is
Such a BLEMISH on your school's
-IMAGE-
And we wouldn't want the world to think
anyone is damaged...
Now would we?
I apologize for falling out of line, once again.
I hope you can forgive me for
FEELING
Tears rack my eyes when my brothers were shot down,
And I hope you can forgive me for
FEELING
My stomach empty itself as my poppa took a life
or two.
Because FEELING isn't pleated skirts.
And DAMAGE
Isn't letting a man keep me in line.


In regards to my recent behavior:
I apologize that I have sense, society.
Sense enough not to let you command
How death and loss should
affect me.



I apologize for being broken, so I'll step back into line now
with my navy blue pleated skirt
and my mandatory man
bringing in money as I keep to this house
of deception.
And I'll let my emotions rot me through my core
like I'll leave the "hard" work to the man.
The man that shot my brothers.
The man that gave them life.
I'll shove those feelings down for you
So the world can be perfect again.

Sincerely, I.
---------------
Thanks for reading!
This is inspired by
The Hate U Give, named after Tupac's famous quote
"The Hate U Give Little Infants ***** Everyone", or **** Life.

The father in this poem shot his own babies,
And the daughter was distraught but shoved it down so she could remain normal.
Awful but I hope it speaks to you.