I still have that picture of you & I during a hike up some hill whose name I can't remember now taken by another one of our friends who came along with us for the trip. There were 5 of us. This was 3 years ago. That part I remember.

You're sitting beside me on a fallen tree and grinning ear-to-ear while I'm sitting on it coffee-shop-style with one leg up, pouting - because i was tired from the hike. I remember that bit too.

I'll never forget that trip.

I'll never forget our friendship.

I remember showing that picture to my ex when I was still dating him - this time, last year - and him telling me how good I looked in it. At that time, we had become nothing more than strangers with memories.

You were busy with who had now become your current fiancée

I was busy with who had now become my current ex.

In retrospect, I knew it wasn't me who looked good.

It was what you did for me that made me look good.

That ex later on left - inevitably - but the feeling of heartbreak when he left wasn't as bad as the feeling of heartbreak when you told me to **** out of your life because you didn't need me in it anymore. That I did for good.

He broke my heart.

You broke my spirit.

I also remember the way your name went further and further down in my inbox, decreasing with importance later on.

You probably don't even remember that our names used to be the highlight of each others' inboxes at one point in time

People wondered if we were together

Once again, it was what you did for me and what I did for you

I also have the polaroid of that photograph, in case you wondering

It hangs by a peg from the fairy lights by my bed - next to the other polaroids featuring me and my other friends

I took a look at that photograph yesterday evening

And I wrote this.

But you will probably never get to see it

The same way you never got to see...

...how much I loved you.