Why do I try when everything sinks and the water keeps flowing?
Why do I plant seeds when in this land nothing is growing?
Why do I buy clothes for a body that I don't know?
Why do I put glitter on when another cry soon will follow?
Disappointed but alive, or dead?
I don't know what feels worse.
But when I have to be alive I'll always keep on trying to cure this curse.
But why?! Cause I'm a bad bad nurse!!!
I want to be able to **** the reason why I fight.
I don't mind if I die in the process.
Dying in this way is progress.
How many times do I have to keep trying to explain it?
Will the right people get it when I'm dead?
Will they admit?
I'm a nurse that will always be bad.
Bad at living, bad with an attitude, bad and in a bad mood.
Bad but good.
Sometimes feeling alright too.
When I smile when I see you.
But please get it now.
I'm trying to find the poison to **** that virus that's in me and it will **** me.
And it's fine and the truth and it's just all reality.
But doctors never want to see that and only they can provide it.
One day I'll make my own and not just a little bit.
Just wait and see, watch me and change things hopefully.