loverboy,

I cannot remember the last time I looked into your eyes without imagining a
blue-sky Sunday coffee type of day.
The type of day where I sit by my window and yearn for an exit outside of the hole I’ve fallen into.

I’m sure you didn’t mean to do it.
It was I who dug a hole and covered it with leaves thinking you’d fall into it just as I had.
I remember how you didn’t even turn around to face me as I tumbled down and under.

You didn’t even hear me fall.

Don’t worry, I don’t blame you.

I used to play with a fire too hot to hold. I still do.
I let it burn right through me with hopes that you’d see.
Apparently I was so bright that I blinded you.

You couldn’t see

Why couldn’t you just see me?

It’s not that hard, dear lover boy. I didn’t just rip out my heart,
I carved it out from my unwilling body

because it beat only for you.

It was useless in my own self. Why didn’t you just take it?
Offered right here on a silver plate

It beat for you.

It’s all right.

It’s all my fault

Covered in autumn leaves, the gaping hole inside me wasn’t big enough for you to fall through and return the very ***** I entrusted to you.

I don’t blame you.

I’m sorry.

-lovergirl