No matter how crowded or busy it was you always stuck out.
When we first met I didn't think much of you.
All of these years I was blind to this feeling called love.
I'm in love?
How do I know if I'm really feeling this way?
I feel happy when you're near.
My chest and heart feels heavy when we are apart.
I look forward to your texts.
Jealousy rises when you are with your lover or someone else.
Is this what it is like?
Does being in love confuse you to no end?
All I feel when I'm with you is happy and confused emotions.
Anger.
This all too familiar emotion.
I know its wrong...
You fill my mind 24/7.
Why are you doing this to me?
You dont even realize what you are doing...
This is how it should be.
I'm forever lost in the darkness of my own heart and mind.
You are the only one that can save me...
But unfortunately you dont have the key to my locked self.
Its locked away with me.
Please.
Unlock the door.
Release me from my shackles of pain and jealousy.
How much more can I mentally and emotionally take?
Not much more...
Is it alright if I lose this fight?
We don't always win.
My heart is ****** to wonder the deepest parts of hell.
Where am I?
It's dark and cold...
Oh right.
Hell.
My own personal hell.
It's not that of what others see it as.
My eyes see nothing but negative emotions.
All from my own heart.
When I try to think of you I think of him with you.
I'm ******.
Upset.
Alone.
These shackles grow heavier the more you get closer with him.
Your love is like sacred water to me.
My greediness is thick when it comes to you.
I'm sorry...
Why does it have to be him?
I wish you would break it off.
Choose me instead.
These are my sinful thoughts.
But as long as you're happy...
That's all I can ask for.
No...
Not again...
My blood pooling the floor fills my thoughts.
What do I do?
Listen to my demons like I always do? Or the nonexistent angel on my shoulder?
That's right...
God most likely gave up on me.
All I have anymore are my demons in my head and heart.
Ouch.
The blade I want to use is gone...
Now what?
I want to be released from my prison.
When?
How much longer?
Will I ever escape?
No.
I'm meant to be caged like a wild animal.
My lungs keep getting filled with poison.
All I want to do is let it take my life...
Would you care?
Or would my death mean nothing to you?
I can't breathe.
What is that?
Is that you?
My light...
Or is it my false hope?
More than likely.
Hey dont worry.
I'll be okay.
All I have to do is hide everything behind a smile and act like nothing is wrong.
So please look the other way and forget about me.
I don't need help.
I don't need anyone.
I don't need your love...
small smile lies...
But that's for me to know and for you to ignore.
Ah the numbness is slowly coming back.
Welcome home old friend.
Make yourself comfortable.