It started outta curiosity
I started with one
Then doubled to 2
Then further doubled to 4
Then tripled to 12
Before I knew it I was puffing 20 a day
A drag here
A drag there
Waking up
Before going to bed
Before going to work
When taking a break during work
After coming home from work
After ***
When frustrated angry happy or high
Sometimes with alcohol and drugs
Sometimes in isolation
Sometimes with colleagues
Till I had felt a cigarette on my lips
I felt as if my day wasn't complete
But gradually the smoking started to take it's toll
My lips turned black
My lungs literally gave up
I was coughing
I was panting all the time
Couldn't think clearly
I would be irritated all the time
I lost friends 'coz of my rude behavior
My family isolated me
I was a nuisance at home
My hands would tremble
My body in a constant state of confusion
I had to visit visit the hospital several times
That's when I finally woke up
and realized that I needed to cut back a bit
It wasn't easy... Trust me
From chewing nicotine flavoured gums
To attending seminars on addiction
Joining rehab groups to yoga and then Finally to writing...
Today I'm down to 0 cigarettes a day.. Writing.. This is where I got my refuge... My sense of comfort and safety... Writing became a therapuetic process for me
It dragged me outta the abyss and showed me a light of hope and ressurection
Today after years of being a non smoker I appreciate writing even more