I keep spinning the truth around my head
Like a game of Russian roulette meant to play with bullets in every chamber but one
The one more difficult to handle than the shot relieving every voice in my ears
The tears are puddling in the wells of my hideous eyes
Putting up a front only rough drugs and meaningless *** can fulfill
That one chamber holding every word I wished you have never screamed or shouted into the vacancy of our relationship we wanted to stopped before I spoiled the ending like a bad independent indie film you shoved down my throat the pills you tried to take from my shaking hands while I swallowed down taurine in the comfort of my scarred up hips; the ones you so desperately lost your argument in when you couldn't get past our fights you decided to choke me with lust and then plead you've decided you do love me only to regret your words in fifteen minutes but never the actions you chose to take
You said I was too much to handle that your space was needed and my outcry for a change was burdensome and that I relied on your love to keep me sane but ignored that I just wanted to feel your love; ignored how badly I wanted you to say you loved me but never heard or felt a single drop of relief. Thats why we didnt work. You were incapable of loving others the way you wanted love. It was a two sided story that never had an ending until you lost your confidence in the pen.