Talked to my recruiter
Felt it was my duty sir

Raised my hand said yes I can
Be a great American

Sent me off to boot camp
Sargent treated me like crap

Never got to thank his Mom
The one who raised this hellish son

Made me a man sent me to war
Not knowing what I'm fighting for

Traveled to Afghanistan
To **** some guy named Taliban

Now I'm hunkered in a ditch
Missing Momma's fish and grits

Planes are flying over head
Pretty soon we'll all be dead

All it is that I can say
I'm to young and dumb to die this way

Then I got a good report
They have no need for me no more

Landing on the tarmac
Hello America it's me I'm back

Greeted by my two best friends
Nodding Bob and Stutter Jim

Even got my old job back
Who would have ever thought of that

Still in service to my country
Behind the counter at Burger King

All I have to say in close
Would you like some fries with those...