It always seems that it's my **** insensitivity that hurts others. After not being able to connect with any emotion from others or even feel any within myself for 4 years, I still find it hard to ascertain what others feel, so I end up taking up the wrong tendencies, saying the wrong words. All of these little things hurt people and the closer I get, the less I notice it, the less sharp I become to their pain, and I hurt them even more. Sometimes I wish I could drop this entire connection to people once more. It would make things much easier. I could then fake everything because I don't feel anything and that would be fine because I wouldn't feel any guilt. But I can't.