She seems cheery at the table, husband's arm around her Swaddled in the structure of his family home Joining in the prayers, helping light each candle New year strikes and she returns the smiles Emptiness tucked in the corners where they cannot see
Yet once everyone's rushed to bed - Pedar's no longer young, and his mother worries - She cannot help but return to the table alone Her smile brighter, wider, twisting into a grimace She cradles the Seeb to her chest and bawls without words
For the son she never met, the hand she never held The way her mother-in-law joked about grand-kids And her husband couldn't meet her eyes For the sense of failure she knows she should not feel For the prayers where she hoped for fertility and health
Once more, in private, in whispered sobs she begs The vinegar for patience, the garlic to protect The Senjed and the Sumac for her love to bear fruit The sprouts for a rebirth to shed the guilt of death. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she climbs the stairs Returning to her place in her husband's arms.