Thanks! Coronavirus—for bringing my whole family together this Spring. No more dreaded holiday reunions memorizing old folks names, no more uptight rich ***** looking down at me, and no more school! Gosh there’s so much to thank you for. Thanks so much, Chinese contagion! Now I know who my real dad is! (Cut! Fade to black.)

If it weren’t for that pesky respiratory disease, I wouldn’t have known what true freedom felt like, since we aren’t allowed outside. Are we children, being grounded? Are we so stupid unable to follow instructions—wash your ****** hands before you eat!

The president says he’s going to get me $1000–per household, for bills and what nots. For toilet paper, bottled water, because we’re all too lazy to boil the water from the faucet ourselves. Sucker better not be lying, cuz I needs that you know? Yo, ***** better have my money.

Thanks again Coronavirus, reminding us of our oppressions!
Fearful of human expression.
It’s not the flu, it’s Covid 19! Oh thank goodness!