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Mar 2020
I used to be upset I could not fall in love,
God looked tired at me and said,
“Here you go then.”
He gifted me an angel, an angel so pure she never spoke,
A glance stopped my heart,
A smile melted my heart,
A look just, filled it.
In a day I noticed her
In a week I liked her
In a year I bought her a ring
In two years I planned our wedding
In three years I gave the wrong girl her ring.

I can’t change anything,
If I could I would be asleep,
But I won’t rest til I fix what I did to you,
All I wanted was a new chance and the big man looked down at me and said yes,
He told me, “life is too short to wait,”
So I just went over to your house, I guess you could say I was very “50/50”
We never finished it but I’ll tell you, he beat it,
He got the girl and they lived happily after,
I left in the middle so I wouldn’t give you hope, I loved you so much that I couldn’t see you cry,
I’m sorry, I really am but, I love you.

The angel was gone,
She saw the real in me and flew away,
I can still see her looking at me, never did I even imagine that was the final look she would give me,
Like I didn’t imagine that was the last time you’d fight for me.

I never know where I’m supposed to go,
You say I don’t apologize for the right things so I’ll tell you what
I chose the wrong girl.

The fool in me could not fight for you, but at least I think we got one thing settled, you did love me more.

After she left I lost all my hopes at love,
I began to doubt everything I had ever done,
So without a hope left, you slid up my story.
I asked the big guy, I begged him everyday, “please just please give me one tiny chance more at love and I swear I’ll make it right.”
It took some convincing but after a year begging he gave me a chance so small I called it my muffin.

Muffin and me snuck around the city always up to no good, but I didn’t really care what we did, all I wanted was to tell the world about you.
Some things will never change, back when we were together muffin and me spent the whole night together
Now muffin, I spend the whole night up waiting for you to forgive me.

Muffin and I now don’t talk,
Maybe muffin will never forgive me
But I’m still just that boy,
The one who hurt you,
Just please remember, it takes a lot of rain for us to see the rainbow.

A bitter sweet man hated everything about you,
A lemon boy misses everything about you,
Your never changing color hair, your beautiful smile, your will to sound smart by using big words when making compelling arguments, and how could I not mention, your cat and your mom too.

I was a fool falling in love, too hurt to be trustful, only now do I believe you truly loved me,
Some things really do take time,
And even though I lost you, hopefully someday you find someone better,
Someone your father doesn’t hate,
Someone always down to see your friends,
And more importantly, someone your mother doesn’t have to defend.  

I told you I’d never lie, and I didn’t, I just lied to the big guy, I told him I’d make it right.
Guess I really ******* this up,
But it just goes to show you, that you deserve someone way better, someone who has time for you,
So I’m sorry for wasting your time,
I just loved you too much to delay the tears, I knew they would hurt much more in Summer.

I told you I’d always be there,
If there is forever then forever, is the same.
I miss hearing your voice, call me,
Whatever time that might be,
I love you muffin.
Written by
Fidel  18/M/China
(18/M/China)   
871
 
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