Had I known it was the last time I would see you,
I might have stayed away.
You see, it's easier to dream about you.
The way you look at me then glance away,
the half knowing smile on your lips.
Sometimes how you pull me in for a hug and don't let go.
I think of you and all the things we could do.

Instead I came to see you,
heart fluttering in my chest.
The door was unlocked,
You weren't alone.
Watching you with someone else tore me apart.
You couldn't hear me whimper over the sound of your laughter.
I walked away, barely seeing through the tears pooled in my eyes.
I left my heart at your door in pieces.
Put it in an envelope marked 'Do not return' and slid it under your door.
I didn't want it, would not need it.

Had I known there would be no other time,
I would hold on to you and not let go.
Tell you I loved you over and over.
Give myself up and put you first.

I wanted to see you and talk to you,
Remind you of our first date.
Where you were so awkward, all you did was stare.
I was no nervous I giggled at each joke you said.
We made a bumbling mess of our first kiss.
I thought it would be forever together.

If I had known it was goodbye,
I wouldn't have come skipping to see you.
Bubbling with ideas of what we could do.
I would have stayed away and dreamt of you and I.
I could have stopped myself from walking into a fast moving car.