A sharp pang
A silent ring
Drifting from the corners of my most precious
Repression

Darting through my body in a lingering scent
That turned my heart to lead
And yanked it to the pitfalls
The brick wall of
You

And the peripheral edges I kept
Side eyes and swept
To try to reconjure the pain
Instead of your name
A free radical in my brain
Slamming my skull in remorse and disdain

“******* retrospective idealism”

I took to my fate
Satisfied the craving
In simplicity
Typically
Unbeknownst to me

And instead of refuge
I Found beaded lights in complex plight
Forced to see the stream of me
Where I usually go to break free
From you and me, an unrealistic dream

And now my solace is littered with us
I spent too long on those words
That were gathering dust
Under lock and key in my healing cortex
Cerebral disfunction in seven letter text

Over and over and over I read

Instead of release the destruction increased and I began to bleed, barriers broke with ease
A flood of contrition, prohibited paths
Thinking in numbers, extirpate my crass

Denial that I cared that you clipped your nails
No talons to scratch me, pleasure to veil
Wait til I’m gone to ease that small pain
Convert to embitterment
To not admit that I miss your name

In similar, small, ignite on my screen
I never wanted mean
And never wanted to leave

And I sat in silence
Re read and re fed
Vitality with your words

And Pretended you still meant

Them