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Feb 2020
My suffering you ignored,
you left me at the door,
I walk alone, as your
shadow lingers on the
emotions I feel.

Grief my old friend,
you settle down so often
you are never far behind me,
your scares are deep
the pain goes deeper.

Hello my old friend,
I haven’t forgotten
the last time we had
spoken, it wasn’t long ago
that you came knocking
on my door.

Hello Grief,
welcome.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
I lost a close friend of mine. We had a vigil last night. My boyfriend told everyone including me he would take me to the vigil. He later decided not to go after he promised to take me. I was able to get him to go. But before it ended he got up to leave. I am handicapped and need assistance and he promised to help me but he didn't. Later he said he wanted to go to bed and that's why he left. He was paranoid too. He singled out one of our friends and asked him if he was upset with him. When nothing happened to cause any upset. My boyfriend is an addict and schizophrenic, he's been dealing with his addictions since December 31 after he visited his dad. He didn't have any plans not did he keep his routine he built at home. He stole from me many times and lied a lot. He makes excuses instead of following the program he said he would follow. He's done nothing but abuse me. I am going to have to drop him. I can't keep dealing with his abuse. I've been through this before with him. Please pray for us 🙏. Also, I have lots a lot of loved ones in a short period of time. My grandfather passed away last month too. My boyfriend seems to be a heartless *******. My friends also have noticed his bad behavior. When your neighborhood is effected by your boyfriend's evil ways that is a big red flag you should break up with him and let yourself heal. It's not your responsibility to make anyone happy or care for them. Your responsibility is to yourself.
Amanda Shelton
Written by
Amanda Shelton  37/F/Bakersfield California
(37/F/Bakersfield California)   
  59
     Colm, tina kimi and Tori Schall
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