i am not grieving
nor yearning
or moping
i am not crippling
by the weight of
the thought of
you.

but i miss knowing you.

i miss knowing what time
you'd wake up and what time
you have class and what time
you will call your mother because
she is traveling to a different country
& misses you dearly.

i miss knowing what's on your mind
at any given time
& bumping into you in the bathroom
because our temporal rhythms are
in sync.

and the nights you missed her
bottle of ***** in hand
(the cheap kind,
you were never one to indulge)
your voice shakes but
no tears &
you're all fears and
i miss knowing exactly what you're about to say.

the time we stayed up till 3
the day you told me you cared for me
not love though, you'd never throw that around
maybe love though, just not the romantic kind

i miss knowing you
your smell
the blood on your jacket
the cut on your knee

i miss knowing you
your cough
a sniffle
the way you laughed with me

i miss knowing you
having you around

i'm not broken without you
i am not in grief
nor misery

but i wish
i knew you
and you still
knew me.