I sip my morning coffee
and you open a bottle of Coke
I give you a little kiss, but I wonder
if there's really any hope
You listen to me slurp
while I listen to you burp
Sometimes I have to wonder
if we can ever make it work
'cause I'm a cup of coffee guy
and you're a bottle of Coke

You've never seen a Western
Where's your streaming service hide 'em?
Those biopics about Russian aristocracy
won't be suggested right beside them
You order pretzels at the theater, baby
and I get Junior Mints
Do you think that maybe we both
should be picking up these hints?
You're a cheesy pretzel girl at the movies
and I'm just the Junior Mints

How I can watch a title fight
you find completely incomprehensible
But as you know little about boxing, your
position's a little less than defensible
You don't know the rope-a-dope
but I'll admit I don't watch daytime soaps
and I don't criticize them because
do I watch 'em?  Nope.
I'm a nighttime rope-a-dope kind of guy
and you're the daytime soaps

I'm just a battered old paper cup of take-out coffee
girl, and you're a refreshing... curvy... glistening...
completely and wholly satisfying...
bottle of Coke