This can be hard to talk about
Very difficult to say
But I'd like to tell you what I'd like
Upon my dying day

Could you throw a great big party
A wake to end all wakes
And if there's nothing nice to talk about
Just throw a few lies my way

Stand me in the corner
Prop both my hands up high
So when all my friends come in
I can both wave hello and wave bye, bye

When the parties over
Before I begin to ripe
Fold me up for easy storage
In a cool place that night

In the morning let me ride on top of the car
So I can feel that southern breeze
Before we arrive at the funeral home
Please clean the bugs out of my teeth

When you step up to my golden casket
For one final glance
Don't look past the coat and tie
Cause I wont be wearing any pants

This all sounds fine and dandy
But I have no money for my elaborate plans
So I guess just take me out back to the barbecue pit
Then flush my ashes down the can