I can't fry an egg, sunny side up
becomes nasty pulp
I'll try to do a roast
but you'll probably end up with beans and toast
I'll try to do a coddle
but it won't be a doddle
if you want cordon bleu
forget it, but I might attempt a stew
my dessert will probably fill you with mirth
you'd give it a wide berth
I mightn't be a good cook
but if you want a night filled with glee
come visit me