Change is inevitable
So why hold onto what we have to let go of
As a teen people would say I was so mature for my age... if only they knew it was the trauma that made me grow up fast
At the age of 8, I was forced to grow up for my body was already developing faster then the other girls
I was sexualized at a young age
I grew up hating my body
Causing me to view my body image in distorted images
Ever since then, my body has been in survival mode
For so long I was angry at my abuser
Unconsciously I never wanted to be around him, never wanted to be in such close reach again
Eventually my anger and the resentment I felt towards him was slowly bruising my heart
Corrupting my soul from the inside, turning my heart to black
I was damaging myself in the process of hating my abuser
So I decided to forgive him
not for him but for me because no matter how hard we wish for a different outcome
Life is not a wish factory, no machine exists  to rewind time
I forgave him because If I wouldn’t have the truth would have been too much to handle
It would’ve eventually driven me mad
sending me spiraling down the rabbit hole
Into oblivious