2019
A year of supposed promises
The ones made before you boarded that plane
I recall the hour-long talks after dinner
The endless car rides infused with songs of our past
We had always told each other we'd be there for one another
If there was any certainty in all this
It would be in our efforts towards each other
You once told me I was somebody you needed
Somebody who you wanted by your side in all of your successes and failures
I thought these words held validity to them
I guess not
...
Fast forward 365 days later
The closing of a decade
A recap of my childhood blares through the speakers
The days of struggling adolescence are cued next
And embedded in them are the recollections of you and I
New Years Eve
Attending a party I had no formal invitation to
I see you across the room
Do you feel it too?
Do you think of the taxi ride ten minutes before midnight last year?
Did your "2019 Recap" include me?
Or did you save yourself the trouble and delete every trace of me ahead of time?
There's no room for conversation anymore
Only side glances and uncomfortable stares
Your eyes send a message I've grown tired of deciphering
Are you satisfied with the way things are?
Or do you wish they were different?
What difference does it make?
If you wanted to
You would've,
Wouldn't you?
...
I think we're running out of things we can say
Or maybe there's too much to say and no way to start this again
I don't want to salvage whatever may be left because of history
I don't want you to keep me around because of memories
Stay
Or leave
But don't come back and forth when it benefits you only
...
This one's for you
Don't make promises you have no intention of keeping