I wake up to an alarm set ten minutes before I need to get up because I never know how long it will take me to get out of bed.

My leg is asleep because at some point in the night my hip did the hokey pokey and turned itself around right out of its socket

But hey, my joint problems make me cool because like a transformer I bend and expand putting my joints back into their place.

See I'm like a cheap Halloween decoration,
Because my skeleton is falling apart at the seams
and if that's not bad enough, the only person it's scaring is me.