I just woke up,
Actually
I never fell asleep.
My nightmares kept me awake
Of things that seem to deep.

I was cutting off my skin,
Slitting off the pain.
I was jumping from a building,
Hoping to feel sane.

I was throwing up my dinner,
Heaving felt like fires.
I was bleeding in the bathroom floor,
Blood pouring out all of my desires.

I was running away,
A man was chasing me.
He pinned me down,
Took of my pants,
And started thrusting.

I'll never understand my dreams,
Only what they mean so,
I'm certainly not scared of dying,
But only of the way that it would go.

I would want to live a long life,
Die of old age, or as a martyr.
Not from ****,
Cutting till death,
Of anything of that sort.
I want to die,
Because I've lived
To much.
I want to be worthy,
Of eternal living.

Because one life isn't enough.