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Apr 2013
Worst mood ever and I can't write.
I wake up into this weight on my chest
And thinking of everything I've done that I regret
Wishing I'd just be dead
I'm weird, crazy, illogical, ******
Why does everything always go the same?
It's just like my shot putting
I know what I'm SUPPOSED to do
But for some reason I just can't.
I'm sick of how I am
I really am
And I can't sleep when I'm sick with regret.
I don't understand myself
And why I can't just be normal
Have normal friends
Do normal things.
Instead I'm socially awkward
An angry individual.
And I just wish it was over.
I don't know why.
I know what I have is good
So why am I complaining?
People make me angry
I think I just need to remember that no one is perfect
Nothing works the way it 'should'
Little things set me off
Nothing calms me down but time
Occasionally.
Sometimes time just gives everything a chance to boil
Boil over until I snap
Until I lose it
I'm seriously sick of people
I used to be able to at least hold a conversation
Now I can even do that much
I can't even write right.
This is sort of just a free write journal thing. I've been in a terrible mood for the past week or so and I woke up even worse today. I would never do anything stupid that would harm myself but nothing in this write is a lie. It's my thoughts straight from my head to the page. Sorry it's just a pointless, probably selfish rant. But when I can't write well it's the one way to still get my emotions out if my head.
Carter Ginter
Written by
Carter Ginter  23/Trans/Wisconsin
(23/Trans/Wisconsin)   
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