I feel like I lost myself.
Somewhere in the middle of trying to please everyone around me.
I forgot about me, and I twisted myself into the shape of a noose that I now feel closing tighter around my neck.
Squeezing until my throat pushes back for space, frantically looking around for someone to help me breathe again.

I feel like I gave up.
Somewhere in the middle of trying so hard, my integrity diminished.
Until I was no longer capable of believing I could achieve anything.
Plans would fall through, and I wouldn't stop it.

I feel like I replaced love with company. Somewhere in the middle of trying to belong.
I gave up my needs, and only focused on the fact that I wasn't absolutely alone.
Yet this whole time I'm searching inside myself, and I just feel void.
I'm lacking. Lacking so much.
And I have no one but myself to blame, and maybe just a little can be taken by the fact that this world is not fair.

I am a just person.
I hate to fight.
I hate to see anyone upset.
But I am just a person.
I don't know how long I can keep up this fight.
I just want to close my eyes and be done.