I'm broken inside like a mirror Every small piece showing a different distorted story I'm broken like a dropped ceramic bowl Pieces so small they'll never be found Until you step on them Feeling every small fragment of your emotions piercing your soul With uncontrollable anger you run Pushing the pain deeper and deeper Until you're satisfied with it being concealed Then you explode This pain is just too unbearable This pain won't stay where it was created This pain left scars Not the ones I gave myself But the ones I didn't ask for The ones I didn't deserve The ones that left me sad This sadness is a mixture of natural disasters A tornado of feelings thrown around A hurricane with a facade that things get better until they don't Looking around I see perfection Looking at myself I see a monster I see self-hatred I see her The girl that just wants to be pretty The girl that just wants to be skinny The girl that just wants to be held The girl that just wants to be herself Society's pressure is crushing her slowly Her body is no longer a temple It is ruins Ruins of helplessness Ruins of confusion Ruins of I-don't-care-anymore Her eyes ever changing like evergreen Her eyes that sting from toxic tears Her eyes that people love Her smile that changes every mood Her smile that no longer shines Her smile disappears She laughs at the word recovery She mocks every letter She hates food Just as much as herself She only feels full when she's empty She's accomplished if she didn't finish Skip one meal Okay Skip two Fine But skip all three and someone will know Her secret is no longer a secret She is exposed She has to hide now To protect her beloved relapse Ew Relapse A word your therapist never wants to hear Because now they actually have to help you A word that begs for treatment A word that begs for attention She's a queen of a fallen thrown Overtaken by the King himself The man who calls himself ED ED thinks he controls me And I'm almost fully convinced that he has won He has all the control As I plead no more His power gets stronger and stronger While I become weaker and weaker Simply shattered Like that mirror that is still broken The mirror that sees my pain The mirror that I hate so much But is ironically the only one I trust That mirror must see beauty somewhere within me I am just not looking quite clear enough to see her shining Shining with unique beauty Beauty that comes purely from inside My spirit that burns brighter than any social media screen The screen that has monopolized my mind The screen that taught me to hate myself The screen that reflects that broken mirror Destroyed by me
First SLAM Poetry Piece! Let me know what you think!