Distress sneaks in
and disrupts my stillness all
too well

I become nervous,
no
I become frightened,
no… I… become
scared?

I become everything
except fine

as my hands grip my head
the thought
arises
to slash through my scalp
and snap through the skull
snatching out every thought
that would dare detour into
the solace of my mind

but I won’t do it
I am … a liar,
I am afraid
and I am certain that
this angst and
this anxiety will
win today
again

because above all,
I am
helpless