I was 15.
I was a freshman in high school.
I had just moved to a new school for the last 6 weeks.
I had just moved in with my adoptive family.
I was very vulnerable.
I was quiet.
I was scared.
I was a joke to everyone.
I was a disappointment.

Some context would be nice I'm sure.

I was *****.
I was in pain mentally and physically.
I was terrified of people.
I was taken advantage of because I was a ******.
I was once clean.
I felt *****.
I felt numb for the most part.
I was called a liar.
I was just a kid.

The worst part was that it was family.

I was the sister.
I was misunderstood.
I was confused.
I was ashamed of myself.
I thought it was the end for me.
I wanted to know what death felt like.
I tied things around my neck.
I swallowed hand fulls.
I was one wrong move from actually jumping.

Nothing I did made me happy anymore.

I went to a hospital.
I went to another hospital.
I went again.
I went a fourth time.
I went a fifth time.
I went a sixth time.
I went a seventh time.
I went an eighth time.
I'm sure you get the pattern.

It all literally made me a waste of space because I was a zombie.

Medication.
Sleep.
Hatred.
Anger.
Sadness.
Fear.
Disappo­intment.
Shame.
Confusion.

You name it and I felt it.

I didn't think that things would ever get better.
I didn't love myself.
I cared way too much about the number on the scale.
I starved myself.
I made my throat a new home for my fingers.
I sliced my skin.
I gave myself bruises.
I banged my head against the wall.
I tortured myself daily.

It never crossed my mind that I was hurting those I love.

I felt like the world was crumbling at my feet.
I felt alone.
I thought my life was in slow motion.
I stopped smiling.
I couldn't hear the birds sing.
I always just saw gray.
I couldn't smell the rain.
I didn't want anyone to be happy.
I wanted everyone to feel what I was feeling.

The journey was long, but worth it.

I'm living life.
I see that my body is imperfectly imperfect.
I don't focus on my flaws anymore.
I got rid of the scale.
I learned to love.
I'm in college.
I'm living in my own place.
I have support.
I am enough.

The road is so very long, but not everlasting.

You'll get through this!
You'll find who you are!
You'll learn to love yourself!
You'll enjoy life!
You'll impact others who need you!
You'll find the love of your life!
You'll find where you belong in this world!
You'll grow through what you go through!
You'll make it, I promise!

I am a survivor!
You are a survivor!