With this,
My last Will & Testament
I'm sure you're all here
To see what you get

I know you're excited
To see the treasures I had
Now that I'm gone
Now that I've passed

To split it up evenly
Only seems right
Cuts down on the cussing
Stops all the fights...

I leave behind my disappointments
And all my regrets
Along with the projects
I never finished

Plus all the days
That I never did
With the buckets of tears
I cried over them

You can keep the guilt that I felt
When things would go wrong
Whether or not
It was my fault

Take the attitude
Of what's in it for me
And do as you please
Now that I'm free and no longer in need

Oh and my fits of rage
When things would not go my way
Be careful with that
And watch what you say

Fill free to keep the jealousy
Of why them and not me
But be warned if you do
Happy you'll never be

And my final breath
That I wish I still had
You can toss that away
Now that I'm dead

I'm sure you're now thinking that
You should have hedged all your bets
Since your ears and your eyes
Have heard and seen what is left

I'm so glad you all came
To take this all away
That over the years
I should never have saved

...oh and tonight if you are soundly asleep
And suddenly come awake
The noise you hear is just me
Laughing from beyond the grave