When the words don't seem to fit                                                     
When the spot they just don't hit 
I re-visit my friend                                              
Shake him again                            
Good old Mr Limerick                                       


There is a young woman from Dunbar                     
Who jogs but never too far
She carries a snickers                                                   
Insid­e her knickers                                                        
­And a mars bar in her bra                                            


-Stretch limo-
So much length it had gained                                      
To drive it was really a pain                                        
So they put on the wheels                                            
Tyres of steel                                                            ­                               
And turned it into a train                                             


Mesmerised for a while
By those eyes which so beguile
The men she meets
Fall at her feet
But why such sadness in her smile?


A pretty young thing from Milan
Had a beautiful tan
She enticed married men
Into loving again
And then the **** hit the fan


She used to be happy, fulfilled and carefree
As wild as white horses out on the sea
Now she's no fun
What has become
Of the girl she used to be