When I'm up, I'm up.
I feel deeper,
I see brighter,
I hear things I've never heard before.
I smell things I've never smelled before.
I taste new things, new people.
When I'm up, I feel like I'm in a dark club under neon lights dancing my heart out to the best song I've never heard,

But

When I'm down, I'm really down.
The club is pitch black and there is a deep drone playing over the speakers. No one is laughing. No one is screaming. No one is singing.

Everyone is staring.
I see nothing.
I feel nothing.
I can't taste anymore.
I can't smell.
I especially can't hear what I've heard before.

I wait hours, days, months to watch those neon lights reflect off of glitter covered skin again,

But

It only lasts a moment.