A boy says to me: I’d like you more if you were quieter.
What he means is he’d like me more if I was smaller.
If I put him before myself.
If I gave him some magnanimous gesture.
If I loved him before myself.

But I don’t like you
Does that make me sound like a *****?
Because when I say I don’t like you I mean I don’t like the way you
Try to rip my feelings out and replace them to try and turn me into
A girl too afraid to leave you.

You try and silence my voice
Then get mad at me for raising my voice.
But I interrupted you just like you interrupted me.
But don’t worry. Its because your feelings are wrong
And I know you better than you know yourself.
Just ask me about your feelings.

I say I’m tired of your **** and you call me a *****.
Heartless. Cold.
But ***** I am the warmest thing in my life.
I fight for myself so much you’d think I love myself.
And believe me I do. I ******* love myself.
You try and replace that love with hate, with uncomfortability, with fear of myself.
But you’re the one afraid of me.
You’ve never met someone so unshakable.
So in love with myself. In love with my flaws.
Flaws you try and carve into my skin so they’re louder
Flaws you try and drown me in.

You grab me by the hair and pull me to my knees. Trying to put me in my place
You forgot: I won’t start it, but I’ll end it. I’ll end you.
How dare you think you can get anything from me that I don’t let you have
And you will have nothing of me
You do not deserve me.
Even on my worst day I will still be better than what you try and make me into.

When I say I don’t like you it means
I don’t ******* like you.
You will never have the power to make me feel small.
Unimportant. Invisible.
You think you can break me but you don’t know I already know how to put myself back together.