The old ways of being afraid are beaten in and comfortable; like weathered, old leather boots.
Yesterday, unaware, I put them on when I stepped down from bed. My stomach burned and rebelled at breakfast - a desperate attempt at a sensitive SOS from my omnipotent body too often unheard... I limped to work alongside my lovely partner through the cool, verdant summer air but the cat had my tongue and I dragged my heavy feet.
Later the fear was exposed naked as untrue, unnecessary, a farce - as the spinster its always been - and what did it?
I showed up imperfect and vulnerable and present to the very place I felt an imposter. I felt power and love - life - surge through my flowing blood, my eyes clear to meet those around me, body light and and leaning on the ***** of my feet, and the armor around my heart failed with warm wholeness seeping in, (that feeling children know, and grandma too) and I realized I'd taken those boots off.
This morning I'm taking note. Today I'll try to walk the world with bare feet.