I was in lock down for so many years...
I'm trying to think of the last time...
I cried, felt tears...
streaming down my cheeks...
for whatever reason...
Some secrets I want to keep...

I wish I could go back to that time...
when it was just me...
and I didn't seem to mind...

My social skills are almost non-existent...
I was too persistent...
I know where I went wrong...
Came out of the gate too fast...
way too strong...

Shortest romance in history...
chasing after her...
It's all one big blur...

For many years I felt nothing...
no happiness, bitterness or strife...
I was settled into thinking...
this is my normal, this is my life...

Now, I'm temporarily lost...
a compass with no direction...
desperately wanting to go back to the way I was...
  not showing any affection...

I don't want to feel...