We are all hunkered down in our little parky...
Waiting for the "All Clear" from our hierarchy...
Trying to keep busy and staying calm...
Whilst the scientists try to come up with a virus bomb...
Some of us have been hangin' out at the pool...
Which on these hot days feels pretty cool...
But don't worry we are playing it smart...
Keeping the distance at 6 feet apart...
So don't fret about us or our routine...
Cause remember Covid-19 don't like chlorine!

TP ..oh.. TP
Wherefore art thou?
It seems as if you have been wiped out.
Swept off the shelves by the armful.
"It's MINE, MINE, MINE!" They shout.
While your grabbed and torn, and taken away.
But I still have hope.
I will find you someday.

I'm sitting here feeling like I need to write something.
Something to convey the way I am feeling about this whole situation.
My big brother Dale.
Two months ago we were playing golf together.
Now I'm making your meals praying you will eat.
Bringing your pills to you with water to swallow them.
Thinking silently, this will take up more space in your stomach than what you ate for breakfast.
How can this be happening, a month or two more to live?
That is what we were told, cancer is fast and aggressive.
How can you process something like that.
I see you fading away a little more each day and wonder how you must feel whats going on in your head.
I can't imagine what kind of a place mentally you are in right now, and it hurts cause I know there is nothing I can do to make it better.
Just be here for you and comfort you as much as I can.
I took care of Dad as cancer took him and Mom died after being so brave.
But death is something I guess I will never get used to.
Does anyone?
All I can say is that I will miss you and I love you.
Your my big brother Dale and always will be.

                                   Your Fight Is Over
I told you Mom had your guitar and was waiting for you on the beach.
Told you she would wait for you there night and day.
I knew you were tired of fighting and you were ready to pass away.

I held your hand while you and I listened to Gordon Lightfoot all night long.
And in the early morning hours your breathing slowed, your face relaxed, and you took your last breathe listening to your favorite song.

R.I.P  Big brother 12/21/54 - 4/13/20

I feel some days are better then others.
As so many of us do.
Some days I wake up happy.
And some days I just wanna stew.

I don't like stew days.
Not wanting to talk or knowing what to say.
Just lost in a fog bank.
Waiting for a lighthouse to show me the way.

Trying to keep a smile on my face.
These are the days that are so long and meaningless.
Trying to keep my chin up high.
But they seem to last forever and become so tedious.

I wait for the next morning with baited breath.
Not knowing if I'll awake refreshed or still broken.
It's like being a contestant on a game show.
Claim your prize and take your token.

I love so many things, but I hate so many things…
I hate the darkness of the night, but I love what the
    daylight brings...

I hate the lightning when it flashes, but I love the sound of
    thunder…
I love my friends and family, but I hate the cancer that
    put some under… 
 
I Love my better half with all my heart, but I hate it when she
    sings…
I hate it when she is sad, but I love what her smile brings…

I hate the winter’s windy cold, but I love a warm breeze in
    summer…
I love classic old cars, but I really hate those Hummers…

I love being in the water, but I hate pruned hands…
I hate the sticky mud, but I love the warm sand…

I hate being upset, but I love being quite and calm…
I love when you say “I love you”, but I hate it when you say
    “you’re the bomb”…

I love to kiss you all day long, but I hate it when you are away…
I hate it when we’re not together, but I love you more
    each day…

I hate that we are so far apart, but I love our face time on our
    phones…
I love thinking of you throughout the day, but I hate it  
    when I'm home alone...

Yes, there are things I hate, thankfully just a few, but I love many
    things so much more and one of them is you...

If bullets bounce off Superman's chest, why does he duck when the bad guy runs out of bullets and throws the gun at him?

I've been searching online...
and been going to meetings...
I've been listening to stories...
and been doing some reading...

Talking with self minded ladies...
some close by and some not...
I've even spoken to one that was from Haiti...

The one thing I've noticed...
the smiles on their faces...
They tell me of their struggles...
and how they've gone...
through their paces...

They all say it was rough...
some wanted to give up...
because their lives had just...
become too tough...

And then those smiles start to appear...
as they tell me how they kept going...
It was all worth the pain they say...
and the not knowing...

Just to meet that one person...
that will give you that edge...
Love you with all they have and...
and bring you back from that ledge...

The one you want to be with...
for the rest of your life...
The one that makes you feel free to be yourself...
The one you'll call...Wife!

Do I need a reason?... an explanation to show?...
That all that I have done in my life?...
Would lead to this?...I don't know...

Was I expecting something more?...
Something passionate and seething?...
Some great love at some point?...
Or maybe this is it...just keep breathing...

I can't give up , I will keep fighting...
This fire that has been smoldering...
For what seems centuries...
Is finally igniting....

But, I never would have thought...
That I would be burning alone...
Feeling the flames...
Peeling flesh from my bones...

I have love to give and I want love in return...
For this one.. basic human need in life...
I would gladly step into the fire and burn...

To hold you and feel your warmth beside me...
I would surely give up anything you ask...
But, just getting to know you seems to be...
Such a tiring task...

You have so much love to give...
So do I...
Because, of this I will always try...
To find you out there somewhere...
And when I do...
We'll be together, you and I...

I can't seem to get this right...
every time we try to talk...
it seems to end in a fight...

I know it's a cliche' to say...
"It's not you, it's me"...
I know I've gotten thru, I know you now see...
Even when I'm winning I can't seem to stop...
from saying just one more thing...
then wishing I had not...

We're like two birds balancing on a branch...
being tossed back and forth...
our tree swaying in the wind...
I won't let go, I will not roam...
Because you.. my sweet little bird...
you make that tree feel like home...

I know I'm not the first bird to hold onto this branch...
but I sure would like to be the last...

I know this is rough on you...
decisions, choices, sacrifices, ...
I know you have to be scared...
your head has to be reeling...

But know this, I smile when I think of you...more than before...
You finally gave in and opened a door...
and gave me a peek at how you are feeling....

So, I pray God gives me patients, like you've ask me to have...
I know this is going to take time...
but, every time I think of you...
I about go out of my mind...
......the effect is not mild......

I'm asking you to please be patient also...
and I will try to grow up and stop acting like a child...

I try to imagine being in love...
never had the pleasure...

I see you sometimes through dreaming eyes...
imagining how it would be...
I feel if we were together you would become...
the best part of me...

I know what I want love to be...
something constant, always growing kind of a light...
illuminating a path, always burning bright...
stable and steady even if we fight...

No, I've never been in love...
never had the pleasure...

But, if falling in love is in my destiny...
I would fall in love with you....
because I know how it would be...
I would love you with all I have to give...
and you would become the best part of me..

I've made mistakes, made bad choices...
Should learn to keep my mouth shut, listen to those little voices...
You know.... the ones in your head that give you advise...
Sometimes my head burns with them...
As if my brain were full of mice...
Gnawing, trying to get out...
Chewing and nibbling until I want to shout...
I need to move on...pick up and go...
I feel like I've killed any feelings you had for me...
Like shooting the black hat cowboy..in an old picture show...
I thought at one point you felt it too...
Feelings for me, like I feel for you...
But, if that ever was...it seems to be gone now...
You say we can still be friends.. I don't know how..
Every time I see you I want to smile...
I want to be near you all the time...
Not just once in awhile...
But, I will try my best to be just friends...
If that is all it can be...
And maybe, just maybe. one day you'll see me.

My eyes aren't as blue as they used to be..
My hair not as soft...
But, you are still here beside me...
My solid ground, my rock...
You still hold me as if it were the first time...
Still kiss my lips with softness, as if I am one of a kind...
You're arms gently lift me from my chair...
With your beautiful smile, you show me you care...
My solid ground, my rock...
I wonder when I leave you, how you will carry on...
When my time here is done...
And I go to that great beyond...
I hope you find another to love...
As deeply as you have loved me...
But, we both know that is like finding that special shell...
In a vast and deep sea...
My solid ground, my rock...
Or will you join me soon after, like so many do...
When their Love's life here is through...
Where we will be together forever me and you...
My solid ground, my rock...