Why Yes, I DO realize...
I'm **** naked in the middle of the road
And NO Officer, I DON'T know how I got here
NOR the whereabouts of my clothes

The last thing I DO remember
I was heading to work and all was fine
Wait a minute...now that I think about it
There was this bright light?!

At the moment I was inserting my key
Into my heap that I sometimes call a ride
My friendly neighbor was waving to me
On the row of hedges from the other side

There was a strange humming sound from above
Both of us looked up in awe
Then I remember bright lights shooting down
That's the very last thing that I saw

NO, I HAVEN'T been drinking!
NO, I'm NOT insane!
It's only 9:30 in the morning!
Of course I have no idea what day?!

WHAT?
You want me to get in the back seat?
And tell the Judge what it is that I saw?
To tell the truth Officer, I'm not sure I can sit down
For some odd reason my butts a tad bit raw...