this is not despair
this is weariness
the simple truth that

there is no weight to darkness,

i’m not reaching for it,

but for fleeting moments it is necessary.
to catch my breath and let the
vibration of my skin
subside.
i can’t explain the energy required to remain whole
when the
light and bright and noise of the world
presses in to me.
my eyes
my skin
my nostrils, are full of it.
it demands that I provide a constant counterweight
just to stand still
just to breathe and stay awake
and remember that
this is not despair.