She was five years old when she first stepped on a plane
The stranger next to her smiled and asked,
“Where are you headed, honey?”
She gazed out the window, smiled and said
“To the one place it doesn't hurt to stare.
I'm going to the moon."
Her mother brushed her hair back gently and whispered to the stranger,
“It must have been so beautiful to be so oblivious, hey?”
And they both laughed discreetly as if she hadn’t heard.

But what they didn’t know
Was that she was always listening
And she knew
That they
Were wrong.

She was struck with sadness when the plane landed
And she found herself standing on the same planet she had left,
She cried for days
That was her first taste
Of true disappointment.

“What is reality?” She would ask her mother
Every night before bed.
“Reality is what you know.
Nothing is as it seems though, baby.
Sweet dreams.” Her mother would say,
As she turned out the light and gently shut the door.

That was her first taste
Of self awareness.

From then on she knew
That she would never again rely
On other people to give her what she needed -
Answers, affection, safety, love.

From then on she knew
That she would always  be dependant on
Everyone she did not know,
Everything she could not touch,
And every place she could not be.

That was the beginning
Of when she split herself in
Two
And it all began
With almost landing on the moon.