I dropped her off on the other side of the city Lights blur past my window And I lose focus A different kind of space travel
I don’t know why I drove here instead The house on Ellen
I had always imagined it as a sad thing Keeping the shape of comfort Waiting lonely for me to come back to it
The shattered window And the holed walls The singed edge crop-circle in the living room carpet
I broke in The place smelled new Like fresh paint And good credit
I am not a vandal But these places don’t feel like home Unless something has been broken
Tonight It was just a lock
My tires hugged the road like it didn’t want me to be there Like hydroplaning without the rain And every red light turned green Just after I hit the breaks Like a bully placing a hand on my chest and then saying “Nah, I’m just ******* with you. Keep on going.”
There’s this place I sleep most nights Only I am still in the parking lot writing this And I don’t want to go upstairs yet
By my parking place Frogs ribbit They sound content Though they live along the water drainage line that seems like a stream Only there are more flies and crickets to eat here
Home is a funny place So I have decided this
Not that I believe in God but I’ve decided His hands are as big as the world So big it is easy to feel like no one is holding you Even when you're being hurled a million miles an hour
And maybe that is why I feel I have no home I mean Hold me like you are small too