buried in my room , sinking deeper under cover
my mind closes down and the thought of the door (that **** door)
gets farther and harder, and farther away...

a breaker blows. (power out)

i sit up. still can't make the door,
but now I'm writing

I Must Get out of this Room .  

-worst case scenarios / stuck in my head-

(having not slept last night, i was determined today would be different)

I get up, then change my mind about a hundred times regarding a shower
...and try ...and try,  to just make it out the door
I drank a beer, smoked a whole pack, and took my Abilify by four..

[still feeling somehow trapped with no escape
                                     ... by that **** door]