I am lost, I have always been
and I expect to be for a long time.
To be lost has been a blessing;
it's been the gift of finding all to be
new, unfamiliar and exciting.

It is a terrifying feeling,
but it's the sort of terror
that precedes all the beautiful things in life;
it's the fear of loving every second after the fear
while knowing the seconds will run out.

It is a feeling of utter compassion
for all the love and pain to come
and the lessons to be learned from them.

It is a feeling of massive confusion and joy
and anxiety and desire
and hopelessness and hopefulness.

Yes, I am lost,
in fact, I'll soon be lost for 9,125 days.

My only wish is to add more days to the count