i want to be mad i want to be so mad i want to be mad but i can’t because it’s not your fault i want to be mad but i can’t because every time i almost get mad, i almost yell at you i almost scream i get sad. i get sad that it’s hard to move, difficult to even talk, and impossible to do anything but cry i’m sad because you’re beautiful and i love you and you love me but soon you won’t be mine to love anymore and that hurts more than it angers me
i feel like if i love you hard enough you won’t leave even though deep down i know that’s not true
when i remember you’re going to leave anyways i try to feel angry so that i don’t feel sad but i’m still sad i’m sad sad that it’s hard to eat sad that it’s hard to sleep sad that when i laugh i just wanna cry sad that sometimes it hurts to breath
if only i could pop one too many pills this time and be done with it if only i could accidentally cut too deep this time and be done with it and if only you weren’t leaving me this time i wouldn’t have to wish i was so angry so that i don’t have to be sad